By Wayne Johnson

While attempting to choke down my complimentary breakfast at the charming La Quinta of Rock Springs this morning I was privy to an incredible tale of hilarity. If you have ever had the pleasure of driving on the stretch of I-80 through Wyoming, you would know it is one the windiest and most barren stretches of highway known to man. I can confirm this because I drove it last night, and while passing by semi-trucks that had blown off the road while enduring 50 mph winds in my lifted van, I questioned my sanity of having the tachometer pinned at a solid 75 mph. Not my smartest move, but it made for one hell of a ride and had I not made such a blatantly unsafe decision I would not have heard this ridiculous short story. Turns out the girl at the front desk experienced and interesting counterpoint to global warming and suggestions to drive less. While walking to work last night, the mighty winds were so powerful and vengeful that they pulled a stop sign out of the frozen tundra and hurled said stop sign at her. Yes, she was hit by a stop sign while walking down the street. Brilliant. I’m sure she will think twice about saving the planet next time, and I will think twice about eating those suspect looking eggs. I mean, they don’t taste like eggs, and they sure don’t look like eggs, so what the hell are they?